Where English meets Linguistics
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn.
I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!
We’ll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn’t be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,
So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
Damian O'Brien
July 24th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
Hi. You may be interested in my book, If Houses Why Not Mouses? It looks at a lot of apparent irregularities in English and explains the reasons for them. Best wishes, Damian O’Brien
nitin bhandari
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:28 am
funny ???????????

Stella
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:09 am
i disagree ! d rules r made dat way n we need 2 follow dem ! wtevr it maybe .
alpita
July 20th, 2012 at 2:15 am
nice….haaha damn funny

Faye
June 21st, 2012 at 11:12 pm
This appears to be the poem I recited in a grammar school assembly program many, many, many years ago. What is the origin of the poem and who wrote it?
Thanks